Paradox At Play

Season 1, Ep. 3: Butts, Breath, and Boredom

Three words walk into a meditation. What do butts, breath, and boredom have in common? More than you'd think, and probably not what you'd expect.

This episode, I explore three entry points into ridiculous mindfulness that are in your body, right now. One of them will make you giggle. And one of them might bore you half to death. And together, they might be the most honest meditation I know.

spent years pretending I wasn’t bored by meditation, now I embrace it, keep sitting on my butt, and giggle a little. There is no perfect meditation, just the ridiculousness of the present moment. That's kind of the point.

Episode Transcript

TRANSCRIPT PDF

Ridiculous Mindfulness: Butts, Breath, and Boredom

[podcast theme sung with cavernous reverb]

♪ Paradox at play. Paradox at play. ♪

[bright xylophone-like synth background]

PARADOX: Paradox here with some more explorations of ridiculous mindfulness. And that is what I call Butts, Breath, and Boredom.

[background music becomes more staccato melody]

PARADOX: Let’s begin by considering the butt. Perhaps you are sitting, maybe you’re standing, walking. If you are listening to this, you most likely have… a butt. A part of you that sits. The part of you that most of the time when you sit is touching other surfaces. And often when I begin to meditate, I do like to giggle a little about butts and get myself into my body a bit. [a driving beat accompanies the staccato melody] And I’d like to suggest something a little more radical, like the dog tongue. Consider multiplying our butts all around the room. Heck, is there somewhere else you’d like to be? What if my butt got so big it took up the Grand Canyon?

[pause in narration]

PARADOX: Imagined butt placements.

[an energetic bass synth joins the music]

PARADOX: What if your butt were on your forehead? What if your butt was all over your body? What if everything was made of butts?

PARADOX: [laughter] Now, let’s take a breath.

[sample of deep breathing]

[Jonathan’s voice with reverb: the thing about breath.]

PARADOX: The thing about breath, it is often a window into my boredom. I do not find breathing very interesting. I clearly find butts interesting.

[sample of two deep breaths]

PARADOX: I think the breath is cool. I enjoy that I don’t have to think about it and it does its job.

[sample of deep breathing]

PARADOX: I mean, when I think about breath, I get a little bit of balloon imagery. Maybe. Maybe some gauziness, some gelatinousness, but in general,

[Jonathan’s voice with reverb: I find breathing boring.]

PARADOX: I find breathing boring. And this is where I find relief in meditation.

[Jonathan’s voice with reverb: I find breathing boring.]

PARADOX: Meditation is boring. Breathing is boring. I’d like to invite you to be bored as much as you can and still stay present.

[complete silence]

PARADOX: But it’s interesting because we began a lot of this with the tongue and the tongue is very close to where we breathe.

[xylophone-like synth returns]

PARADOX: I can be bored and feel joy at the same time. So, butts, breath, boredom, these are ways of considering ridiculous mindfulness.